Guiding/guarding, and Me!!!

-

I dog sat, cat sat, and house sat this weekend. It had been a very busy week and another emotional one. I think I did better in hiding it and guiding it (not just hiding, I promise), but I'll never be sure 100%. I had struggles with my attitude at times, but I also think I did better in not letting them get out of control, too much. I did make one slip up; one I didn't mean but the words came out any way. Every day is a day that I have to gauge almost every behavior I have, and that I'm not proud of most of them.

And that's it, that's the thing right now for me: controlling what I can over a day. And every day is different in what is hard. Nothing really is the same kind of hard. I've said a few times to a few select people that I'm tired, but they misinterpret the meaing of tired. Its not a sleep, work tired. It's a "I'm having to watch everything I do, I say, I act because I'm really, really sad, angry, depressed" and it's all I can do to find a little bit of normal. I've gone about it in the wrong ways most of the time. I may be very near failure in every aspect of my life. But do you know what I'm missing in all this? Me>!!! I'm lost, and have been for more than the last nine months. The last nine months just made it worse, and completely upfront bright and shining and ugly! And I don't like to sing my praises. At all. So, I'm going to flip the script. I need to, and not just try to. So here goes:

I am...or I love...or I like...or I will....you pick which one of these the following goes to in alphabetical order (just kidding, just random order):

Nice

Funny

Jesus

my mom

My parents, my family, my friends

49ers, Hoosiers, SF Giants, Lakers

Imaginative

Creative

Writing

Dancing

Friends

Hosting

Loving

Rom Coms

Marvel movies

Scooby Doo

Waterfalls

Stargazing

Cute

Pretty Eyes

that I'm brunette

Dogs

Sea Otters

Tigers

Sno-Caps

Juju-fruits

Red vines

party planning

throwing parties

traveling

driving

green

beach

ocean

That Lucas proposed to Elizabeth and she said yes!

While You Were Sleeping

Under the Tuscan Sun

Psych

Chuck

Murder She Wrote

Agatha Christie

Nancy Drew/Carolyn Keene

Jason Bourne

Strawberry birthday cake with chocolate icing

Salami

Lamb Chops

resilient

strong

sexy curves

Ralph Lauren boots

Windmills

Kat and Q

painting

Indiana

California (most of it)

Kobe Bryant

wine and wine-tasting, studying wine, etc.

Precious Moments

Shoe figurines

Tulips & Irises

2017 Nissan Rogue

Super corny jokes

aquamarine birthstone

Brian Regan

reflective

think too much

dreams

Hallmark Movies (yes)

walking in the neighborhood leisurely

red shoes

cute purses

helping people

encouraging people

sensitive

cooking

baking

cute nose

Tiffany anything

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Tiffany blue

Audrey Hepburn

Sabrina (both, but the new one had a little more sparkle, and Harrison Ford)

Indiana Jones

Star Wars

art

music

DC Talk

Strawberry milkshakes

treating myself to a nice steak dinner, great glass of wine, and meeting people in the process

being told I'm a stronger person than most because I can be in public by myself and have a good time

meeting new people

enjoying a sunrise or sunset, anywhere

hazel eyes

soft lips

Lavendar vanilla

laughing


I think that's a good start, and I'm tired.

Lots of Love,

Tiffany 💋










Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The emotional and physical struggle bus

-
This has not been an easy emotional and physical week. It's only Thursday but it feels like it's been a week and a half. It started Monday morning when I couldn't get out of bed because my back was not happy. I don't know why either because I had slept okay. But I literally couldn't move. My roommate was still out of town so I got very worried that if I couldn't figure out a way to get mobile that I wasn't even gonna be able to get to work. It took an hour and 12 minute. But by 10, I was finally able to move and walk around. I do not know why my back just shut down for that time. I'd recently had the random feeling of being in the middle of a lesson and my lower back feeling like it was gonna give out but it doesn't it. I don't know if anyone understands what I mean...however, I know there's 1 person I talked to who said "yeah I know exactly that feeling." It's a very weird feeling. It kind of tells me if I'm doing too much
Read more

Wine-ings Post 2: My Top 10 Non-Napa Wineries (right now) and procrastinating doing my taxes

-
I'm ready to give my top ten wineries - at least they are in this point in time - that are not in or around the Napa area. It's also another attempt to delay doing my taxes a little longer - but I will do them today at some point. Because I was a victim of tax fraud and identity theft, I'm encouraged to do them as soon as I have all the documents I need (got the last one I didn't realize I needed last week) even though I have a special pin they send me so that doesn't happen again. But I feel like talking about wine right now so I'm going to talk about wine.  Unlike the previous post, I did not order these by number. At the moment I can't choose how to order them in preference because I had such different experiences at each that I liked as well as the others, but I promise if one starts to stand out while I'm writing, I will let you know. Otherwise, pay no attention to the order numbers. Here goes: 1) Big White House Winery and John Evans Cellars, Liver
Read more

Wineries I've been to, and a little info about how to SIP

-
This blog may be incomplete when my writing time this morning is over. I give myself an hour to write every morning, if I choose to write. So this is it this morning. 9:30-10:30 a.m. If unfinished, I'll find time to update it later. I have had a slight obsession with visiting wineries. Well, maybe its a big obsession. Today, I decided (since I'm asked all the time now by a few friends and family members) to just list the wineries I've been to. They will not be in any order, except for the term "GO" in parenthesis by some of them. It doesn't mean not to go to the others; it means that I had such a great experience, or their wines were excellent, and probably it mostly means that the experience AND wine were great.  Second, I'll give you my take on the sip method for wine tasting. There are clear opinions on how a wine should be sipped and even a little acronym/backronym-like wording for it. I can't truly remember what to call when you use the letters of
Read more