Independent Part 2: The Woman, and feeling content for you

Yesterday was a very packed day without meaning to be. But there were five hours that just really were important to my life as a person. 

Sunday, July 11, 1-1:30 p.m. 

My plans were to meet a friend at Opa! in Morgan Hill for lunch. Unfortunately, they were called away to work and let me know the moment I sat in my car to leave. I was honestly very tired and contemplated going back inside and just resting a few hours before meeting another friend in Gilroy at 4 p.m....but I was actually too lazy to do that so I started my car and headed that way, realizing that what I really needed was a quiet day away from TV's being on and a dog going in and out of the house because she likes the sun but her owners don't like her to like the sun. On the way down I realized there was a winery that I hadn't tried yet and since I had called earlier knew that they were not busy today. Ro guided me straight there.

 1:30-3:30 p.m. I was pleasantly surprised to find that Lightpost Winery is a little gem in my neck of the words. It truly is. I'll talk more about it at another time but really what those two hours were meant for were for me to meet a lovely older couple. We didn't even exchange names. But when we had finally got the moment to speak to each other - being the only ones in the room - the wife said something to me that I needed to hear from a random stranger. Here is a paraphrase of what we said to each other so it's not precise but you'll get the gist:

    Her: I wanted to say hi from when you came in. You reminded me of how cute my Aunt dressed, except she always wore a hat.

Me: Oh, my goodness. I almost wore a hat today! I love wearing hats.

Her: You're flower is cute though.

Me: Yeah, I decided that I didn't want to mess with my hair and a ponytail with a flower would be eaiser today.

Her: Well, you look cute. So much like my Aunt. 

(I wore my long blue goddess dress with a short sleeve white cardigan, and my red wedge shoes, with a blue flower in my ponytail)

Her: so where's your man?

Me: I don't have one.

Her: You're here by yourself?

Me: Yes.

Her: where is he? 

Me: Well, I don't have one right now.

Her: I admire you. No, I really do. Independent.

Me: Thanks!

Her: Do you do this often? 

Me: Yes, more than I probably should.

Her: Do you do other things on your own, and enjoy it?

Me: Yes. Sometimes its just better. Not all my friends enjoy things like I enjoy them. I have a few friends, my mom, that enjoys things like this like I do but not very many so I learned to just enjoy it the way I enjoy it.

Her: I just admire that. Independent, secure. Just like my Aunt. Not like my other friends, sometimes myself, too, so insecure without someone always there, always have to do something with someone. I'm independent but I like having a man. I admire that. Keep doing that.

Me: Thanks, I will.

She started to walk away, then came back again: Truly, you are just like my Aunt. You know, she never married but was always happy. She traveled, enjoyed her life. Its inspiring. Have you always been independent since childhood?

In that moment, it dawned on me that I kinda had been. Me: Well, not always but kind of. My parents divorced when I was very young and we shuttled back and forth. 

Her: So you learned to be responsible for yourself and were independent.

Me: Well, I guess you could say that but I've definitely made lots of mistakes still. It's only the last few years that I really found peace with my single life.

Her: Well, don't rush it. Keep being you. Its so much better than all the insecurity of others having to always be with someone. 

She walked away to check on their membership order. The four of us - her, me, and the two who served us (her husband not included since he was taking some of the boxes to their car) chatted about the wines we tasted a bit.

Then she came back over and we started another conversation. The pertinent part of this one is this:

Her: Really, don't rush it. You will know. In the first five minutes, you will know.

Me: I believe that, too. I just haven't met anyone yet.

Her: You will. You will. I'm telling you, in the first five minutes, you'll know. Without a doubt, I know YOU will (she literally pointed at me).

Me: Thanks for your encouragement.

Her: Absolutely. Don't rush it.

She started away then looked back briefly and said: He will be the luckiest man. 

That's her last words before she left.

Whoa....not expecting that at all. And what was so crazy about it was that I had prayed about that. I felt insecurity the day before. I felt I needed to release some things so I actually cried a bit to get them out and prayed over them. Then a random stranger, at a last minute change of plans, came up to me and had the conversation above. If that's not a Godwink, or a God-incidence, or an answer to prayer, I don't know what is. 

3:30 p.m.-6 p.m.

I met my friend at Fortino Winery to eat some tacos - and by that point I really needed food in my stomach. The wine tasting was five pours but they started you out with a bonus sparkling rose. However, by the end of my time, I'd had 9 pours! I ordered 3 tacos, and my friend and I split a cheese board. Anyway, it was nice to spend time with this friend just chatting and catching up. We talked about her recent mini-trips, my upcoming vacation, some changes we had in our lives coming up (mostly work-related), and just enjoyed the peacefulness of that area, spot, time of day. In fact, they closed technically at five but we didn't leave until 6 p.m.! (there was another couple next to us that left with us). I think we all realized we really needed to let them go home. So generous, the Fortino family.

Anyway, we had a wonderful time just enjoying the weather, each others company, and just being alive.

This is all I've wanted since I moved here. There have been so many struggles, both expected and unexpected. There have been so many changes, and some things that are still the same. The biggest thing I learned yesterday is that I'm as content on my own as I am with other people, and that is a huge breakthrough from someone whose friends would leave their house or apartment after a party/visit/get together/poker night, and would feel so empty immediately that she cried herself to sleep - and most of her friends never knew that (if they read this blog, they know now). 

This is so HUGE for me. HUGE. Though I have desires, wants, goals, upgrades of EVERYTHING in my life, its so encouraging, uplifting, confidence-building that I'm content with or without someone in my life. Maybe this is where I need to be before I'm able to be with someone else "for the rest of my life" or even "someone's mom." Maybe its just really good to be content regardless of what the future holds. Anyway, this is my new normal and I'm going to fight to make sure I stay that way.

I hope you had a great weekend and will have a good week. Today marks another "return to normal" - sort of. It's our first Monday back but its only a half day (5-9 p.m.). Still, its a good sign. I'll miss the three day weekends - who wouldn't -but this sign of getting back to whatever the new normal is for working is also contentedness in the making. 

Lots of love,

Tiffany 💋