Skin care, and Mental Health part 1

 I have a lot to do today but I wanted to type these thoughts, and a little about my skincare routine to help others with sensitive skin like me.

Skin care

I have struggled with my skin most of my life. It's uber sensitive, and with the addition of being of Portuguese, Swiss, Italian, English, Irish, decent, I also have fair skin and very dark, course hair. That is not a fun combination. I've tried A LOT of skin care and make up brands that are supposed to be for sensitive skin. Everyone's sensitive skin is different though so not every sensitive product works. Here's is a list of my top five sensitive skin brands, but only one is consistently good for my skin. That will be the last one on my list.

5. Dermalogica. It took a while, but it eventually cleared my skin. However, it wasn't the greatest of results. My skin looked better but didn't feel better.

4. Neutrogena. I was a big proponent of Neutrogena growing up, but as my skincare got more important to me personally, how it's made, and the changes of formula moved me away from this product line. Not cruelty-free or vegan.

3. Almay. There are a few products that I still like and work, but it's like Dermalogica in that my skin looks okay but it doesn't feel okay, and it's also not cruelty-free or vegan.

2. Aveeno. This has become my backup cleanser and moisturizer (clear complexion line) when I run out of my #1 and can't get it right away.

1. 100% Pure cosmetics. Everything they make is cruelty-free, vegan, and most of their line can work for sensitive skin. Of course, they have lines for the opposite of my skin, but both their skincare and makeup are well-formulated. 

I will go more in depth on the above at a later time, but they worked for me the best. The others I've tried are: L'Bri (I had high hopes for this one), Formula Botancia, Clinique, BareMinerals, DermaE, Milk, Nuria, Pacifica, and Ulta. 

I stopped finally when I realized that 100% Pure's both skincare and make up worked for my skin. And when they came out with their tea tree line, I thought that they designed it specifically for me. Yes, I tried other tea tree products, but these were more formulated for my skin and worked better. Also, I tried a few products while in the beginning of transitioning to 100% Pure products, and when they didn't work, 100% product literally fixed my skin after using the bad product. That's why I'm hooked on this one and hope they stay around a long, long time.

If you have a suggestion for a sensitive skin, cruelty-free, vegan skincare or makeup product, please let me know.

Mental Health: Part One

Our mental health is important. The last two years really brought that fact out in the open. Sometimes though, I think we gloss over the reasons for our mental health issues and just do "self-care" on the outside. We don't take responsibility for our inner health and do the hard work of fixing what the real problem is. We are told to "stay strong," "take care of yourself," "this too shall pass," etc., etc. They are all good words, but they don't really help. What helps is digging up the root of the problem, otherwise it won't ever go away.

Yesterday, was not a good day for me. A lot of things happened over the day to keep my emotions boiling. When I was finally able to calm them from one thing, a new thing popped up within minutes or seconds that turned up the heat again. I didn't help either with Thursdays being a day that I reserved for grief. But, really and truly, it's the perfect group for me to start my grief journey, so sacrificing a workday for a few months is worth it for my mental health. There's always a bad to the good, and that's that Thursdays I'm more vulnerable to emotional trauma. 

One such event yesterday was that a friend that I've distanced myself from for very good reasons, popped back up in my text. I had planned to slowly have a friendship again - but with continued boundaries, having learned that there were things about her that I couldn't change - but then my uncle passed away, my surgery came and then all the other crap proceeded to happen. It just wasn't the most important thing at the time, and I'd heard that she was back again in a mental institution so there was no way I was in a space to be helpful or to add any more drama to my life. However, I did keep sending her holiday cards and a birthday card. 

It's the birthday card that triggered her - and though she said she found the right treatment finally; it was clear she hadn't worked on the thing that had been causing a lot of good friends to distance themselves. She doesn't ever apologize for what she does not do well with people - she always finds a way to use her anxiety or current circumstances to excuse her behavior, and makes you feel bad about even questioning it. Instead of saying thank you, she said thank you but...and then pulled another friend personal info into the conversation. I wanted so much to just argue with her and point out her flaws - but I didn't. I took the high road and by the end of the conversation when she said things that I know she intended to hurt me with, I just said: "I'm happy for you. Sometimes people in our lives have to change to truly move on. I'm truly glad that you found the right treatment and people to see you through it."

And, this morning, it's still a true statement. There was something about that friendship that held us both down. Unfortunately, I know her "new," "supportive," friends probably know some very negative things about me. She doesn't know that I know she's said some pretty bad things behind my back, and she doesn't remember the bad things she's said about people that were our friends to me when we hung out. But that doesn't bother me. You know why? Because I've worked on my mental health to the point that I know if they met me, they'd know who I really am and it's probably nothing like how she tells them. I'm that positive that she doesn't have a nice thing to say about me - and if she does, there's an addendum to it. I actually hope that I'm wrong and she's said nothing about me, like I never existed. That would be better and healthier.

Here's what we all need to remember though - all the people we don't get along with, have people that understand them and that they get along with. And that goes the same for us. I'm really not mad at losing the relationship. I'm a little sad about it. There were some good times, but we were toxic for each other, that much is clear. The important thing is that she may have very well gotten the right treatment and is better; and there are people around her that can be better friends to her. That I hope is true and real and is the best thing for her.

So, in this moment, I'm proud of the work I've done for my mental health and being able to have perspective. I hate that I have to accept I can't be every one's friend, but I understand now that I can't. And more importantly, not everyone can be mine. That's a hard lesson, too. But my mental state is better than it's ever been - my emotions are pretty raw but I'm working on them.

I've got more to say on mental health, but I'll keep it for another time - most likely I'll blog again next week.

I hope that you have a lovely Friday and enjoy your weekend! I'm looking forward to visiting friends in Solvang! Woo Hoo!

Lots of love,

Tiffany 💋