The next emotional stage, what the future holds

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Today begins the next emotional stage of this - no mom to help anymore. It's all me. Yes, I'm very independent but it was so nice having her here. It was such a blessing, and it was much needed mother/daughter time. 


But I dropped her off at the airport this morning to go back home to Indiana (prayers for safe travel are appreciated). But I've already "released" (cried) so I got the uncertainties that now cone flooding with the idea of "no help" out of my system. Yes, I do live with people that can help me but it's really not the same. I am obliged to help myself more than depend on them.


Though I let those insecurities go and can handle myself - even putting in my scooter into my car and hopping in the driver's seat - they will be there for awhile. Tomorrow is my post-op appt. Tomorrow I get to see my foot and how it is healing. Tomorrow I get to know how much physical therapy I need. Tomorrow I realized starts a true real new chapter in my life. It's just a foot to some...but it's what we stand on, what we use to move, and for me, what is the base of my career and I need it to continue. Tomorrow my mom is not here to smooth over the new insecurities that may come with my Dr's advice and physical therapy prescriptions.


I realized that I have goals and plans that I don't know what the future holds. I can plan, work that plan, get to those goals but God could change them. But don't read too much into that - I'm going back to Arthur Murray. But my mind, soul, heart is opened to changing, or pursuing my current goals harder for what He has planned for me. 


This has been harder than expected emotionally - as I've already said. But I've learned some lessons that I never would've have, and I truly learned to listen to my conscious, my instincts. I had a strong feeling three years ago that it was time then to do it, and I didn't. I know it got worse and this may be a worse transition/healing than it could've been. I know that I'll need to do the other foot sooner than later. It's a given.


But one step - one foot - at a time. I'm ready to get this one on the healing track. And though I'm still going to have emotions, my mom helped me prepare myself while she was here for the uncertainties, and God has put a lot of blessings, including people, in my path to help me keep moving forward. And He hasn't even revealed to me all His blessings yet. I claim them now though, cause He is so good, all the time.


Our emotions are normal and real. Give them their due, but don't live by them. Release them when their purpose is over- and negative emotions should be over very quickly. I hope you can release something negative in your life today - a thought, an emotion, an issue/situation.

Lots of love,

Tiffany 💋 

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