reality vs what we hope for, and finding peace

Well, though it was all in all good news, I'm laid up for two more weeks. I know it was wishful thinking to get my stitches out today and start putting weight on my foot but I was really hoping and praying for it. Alas, no go yet. It is doing very well but it's not healed enough - and due to how it was worse then expected, he said it's better than it should be. So I am encouraged by that. The fact that all three doctors came in to "marvel" at it is also a good, but also weird sign. 

I did not take a picture of it, though I was tempted. It has two incisions: one small one between my big two and second toe, then a long on from my big toe to past my knuckle towards the inside of my foot. Through the swelling and the dried medicine what I don't remember seeing since I was a kid: a straight toe and foot. Wow! It was so different! I'm looking forward to seeing it when it's completely healed. But it looked a bit like Frankenstein and, well, I'm kinda glad I don't have a picture of it. The one in my memory is good enough.

But in all of this, I'm fighting daily to keep my inner peace. When you're not as mobile as normal, little things take more thought, and extra care and patience. And I have to be aware of not only how I elevate my foot but the position the rest of my body is in, and what parts are compensating. It's easy in my position to over use a body part and injure it....then where would I be? The constant thinking through every action can hamper your peace. 

So I'm focusing, learning, studying and practicing keeping my peace, and not letting the anxieties this brings up randomly, and sometimes at a really bad time. 

The quiet times though are different than in the pandemic. Because I'm healing I think, I'm more focused on everything I'm doing or not doing, but I'm also thankful for the silence. I've barely watched TV, and I've read more. I've realized I can do some things, it just takes more time and careful planning, and when my foot hurts from being up too long I know to lay back down and ice it. I know to rest. 

Isn't that what we're all missing in this day and age of convenience and multi-tasking? We are so "busy" and we think certain things are more "important" or "urgent" than the really are. I am getting better perspectives on which is which and how exactly important or urgent something is. 

But as I'm healing I'm learning that our society is so focused on important and urgent, that we take work home. Work is work, and it may be important but it shouldn't go home with you, even if you run a business. One day I want to own my own business, my own studio. But I want to do it having a balance. I'm learning things now I hope will help me do that when the time comes. 

Until then, Dr Kim says I'm healing well and to keep doing what I'm doing because it's working. I need to keep resting, and move when I need to move. 

And right know my foot wants some ice. He wasn't kidding when he told me I'd have more needle-like pains as my foot continues to heal. Yikes. Ok, I got this.

I hope you find the good rest you need and have balance in your life. Or at least are on a path to.

Lots of love,

Tiffany 💋