Patience, Perseverance, and What scares me now

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Today was long and emotional. It's technically Day 28, exactly 4 weeks after surgery. I got 50/50 news yesterday, and  disappointed along with my Dr. In fact, it's more swollen today than it has been. I was supposed to be weight baring by now. I'm not very close.

He was encouraging though saying if I keep on the new meds that the swelling would go down. I'm not seeing that yet. But I'm reminded to be patient and persistent in understanding that surgery is a big deal. Though it doesn't seem like it, this surgery is a big deal.

The real reason though that I'm blogging is to speak my anxiety and fear our though - I am quite literally scared. All I can see is my foot swell WAY more than even yesterday. I had to go to the internet to hopefully calm myself and see pics of what the foot should look like after 3, 4, 6 weeks, etc. Luckily I found a couple that's where I'm at...but ONLY  a couple. The others - even harsher bunions - looked way better than my foot does now. Yeah, so I'm scared. 

I have to release it though. I can't control this as much as I want to. This could be totally normal - though Dr. Kim's disappointed expression and exclamation yesterday say otherwise. It's still not something that I have to stay anxious about. We have technology to get, give information pretty quick. If I get too nervous, I can take a pic, send it to the Dr and get his opinion. Right now, I can only continue his orders, pray to God that He heals my foot with less drama, and practice positivity, pations, and perseverance.

Are you anxious about something right now? Pray over it, then let it go. Only focus on what you can control; let go of what you can't.

Lots of love,
Tiffany 💋 

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