The emotional stage, and keeping my humor

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I started to get emotional today, just a bit but I definitely felt a clear wave of emotion. 

At dinner, I almost cried. I just wanted to have one of my freezer meals, and I wanted to do it myself. As I made my way to the garage door on my scooter, I realized I couldn't get down there, not safely. There was not only not enough room to get to the garage door from the foyer with the scooter or crutches but the step is big and complicated. I literally just froze. Of course, immediately both Diane and my mom came in and basically did it for me, almost scolding me for not asking for help. But in that moment and a few afterwards I felt helpless, absolutely helpless. 

And a bit hopeless. Whats going to happen when no one is around a few days? But then a different thought occured...I thought of others way less "blessed" than me, who deal with worse everyday. It's humbling- and eye-opening. I learned even more about myself. I hate not being able to help myself. I really don't like it. There are things now that I can't do without someone's help. I've figured out how to do some things (washing my hair safely, and other grooming is a big chore now but I can do it), but some things take help no matter what, and that is daunting for me. I want so badly to help myself.

And then that's a lesson, too. We all need help. We aren't meant to do everything alone. I'm learning to trust, and accept I need help from others. It's so hard, but its what we need to do as humans. We need to help each other when we need help, and accept the help.

So though I hate having to need help for the simple things daily I could do in my sleep before, I'm learning to have extreme gratitude. Though I know I'll have other emotional moments and uncertainties as my foot heals, I know that's ok, too. It's all a process, demanding perspective changes, growth, and a willingness to learn and change if needed.

I also have found some humor. As I'm learning to use my scooter and it can be hilarious how I have to manuever, it really has helped me be more mobile. But when I get on it, it makes me laugh, because of the situation - and then I decided to use it to learn more about instagram posting and all the little things you can do. Now my scooter pic is a post with the Knight Rider theme behind it. Yeah, I know, I'm totally dating myself but the "riding dirty" song didn't really seem the right choice - for me. 😉 And now when I get on it, I laugh because the Knight Rider theme plays in my head! 🤣

Anyway, you have to find humor, right? It's the end of day 4, and I'm already emotional. I have at least 10 more days with this foot immobile....and it still hurts. So my patience needs to find a home in me right now - and laughter needs to be its roommate.

I hope you find laughter in the hard things to help you through them.

Lots of Love,

Tiffany 💋 



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