An unexpected day, living your life but still loving

Yesterday, again, I just couldn't stay home. I really should've just for financial reasons and actual work reasons - but I knew I would be unhappy staying home. There were 2 places I was considering even as I walked to my car: a drive up the coast toward SF, or a drive to Napa. With the traffic my GPS was showing me to and in SF, I went with Napa knowing that I probably would not get a tasting due to it being a weekend, almost all require reservations now, and of course, I remembered halfway there it was Bottle Rock. Oops! 

That's ok, I told myself, I could sit in one of the many beautiful Winery parking lots and have a picnic, or even walk the grounds like my friend does (I could see a lot of wineries that way). Though I had done some inquiries before I left to no avail, I whimsically called a winery I wanted to revisit (ahh, technology of cars nowadays, have I said I love my car?). They had an opening 15 min after my GPS said I'd arrive in Napa! Perfect!

I changed it to go straight there. I'm so glad, too. Previously, I had visited this winery with a friend who truly showed she wasn't really my friend, and proceeded to be a negative Nelly most of the day. Every time I tried to turn the conversation positive, the rug was deftly and quickly pulled out from under me. I'd paid for both our tastings that day, too, at two of the 3 wineries with my wine pass, but that day at the first winery she turned her nose up at tasting (she did do some tasting but she complained about it the whole time - I finally said that she didn't have to come or could've told me to cancel her tastings but that went to deaf ears). So needless to say by the time we got to this particular winery, I'd had a very bad day. I needed to reverse that memory.

And I did. What a much better experience!  Miner Family Winery is a very good winery. A nice experience and very good wines. I had wonderful service from Danny and it was a beautiful day. I'm so glad I have a better memory now of them. 

At that point, I succumbed to my love of trying different wineries and looked for a second place. I also decided that I was ok with leaving Napa late. I'm growing weary of driving too late at night; my eyes just aren't as good anymore at night. I'm very, very alert in an almost obsessive way at night now. Yesterday, I made an exception. I didn't get to Napa until 3 p.m. anyway and most close by 4:30 p.m. so a second Estate was kinda out of the question. Normally, I'm not as big of a downtown fan as I am of going to the Estates, but for some reason yesterday I actually wanted to go to downtown Napa. I can't explain it but I just felt safe all day. So I went with my gut and left my insecurities aside. Boy, am I happy I did. I had maybe one of the top five experiences ever. I could rank it anywhere from 1-5, it's that good. 

You might know by now that experiences at wineries are almost more important to me than the actual wine. I wine taste because I fell in love with the experience you can have, and with how diverse wine can be - even within its own grape variety! Yesterday, not only did I taste four exceptional wines, but I had the best version of a wine host that I think you can have. I want to take Ben to all my wine visits and have his blatant love for being a wine geek and wine host rub off on others. He was just awesome! But I took my time with the wines, too, because I really wanted to experience them myself - and he let me do that, too. I think I could've talked to him about wine forever. Perfect experience. 

The place I went was The Alpha Omega collective in downtown Napa. I tasted a futures Cab from them, a carignon from their winery in Spain, and two from a winery they bought in SLO, Tolosa, which they call their Pinot Noir winery (it's now my personal Pinot Noir, and the first of the four pours was their Chardonnay). I MUST visit Tolosa next time I'm in Paso Robles tasting. It'll be a great stop. And now, Alpha Omega is on my list to taste at their estate. I joked that if I were a millionaire, I'd have bought the futures for that cab...it was $600! What I tasted was from the barrel. Delicious! 😋 I kept joking about not being a millionaire but now I need to be - to support my wine habit!!!

Anyway, though I could've gone to a third (I really took my time at both wineries and drank lots of water, and ate my little picnic, so I was very stable), I decided I needed to try another local eatery and get real food in my belly. Ben pointed me in the direction of two places, and I chose the latter because I'd not been to that one. Wow, such a simple menu but just so flavorful and filling! Go to Gran Electrica for yummy Mexican food when you're in Napa. Your choices are really only tacos and tostadas but you'll be happy with whatever you order. I had the chicken tostadas. So good!

What yesterday taught me though was that when you're being yourself, when you're enjoying your life, your whole person feels well, including your mental state. Would it have been great to be enjoying someone else's company - and help with the wine and food bills - of course! But I had a strong sense of self all day, and it only got stronger over the day and night. I even basically erased a bad memory - though I hate that I had to. I've let that relationship go. That isn't to say I'll never visit with that person again, but their negative and narcissistic attitude won't affect me in the future. Unfortunately, I was not equipped to be their friend anymore, and I'm not willing to sacrifice my mental help to enable them to stay in their unhealthy patterns. They may never understand that, but that's not in my control. 

I still have love and pray for them, but now I've finally set boundaries for those that just take your energy or twist the truth to their gain. 

But this isn't about them. It's about doing right for yourself when you need, and it's about enjoying what you enjoy with or without someone. Loving yourself and people, even if you can't be around them - either because of distance, differences, likes or dislikes, you name it. Loving who God made you to be, period, and what unique gifts, likes and dislikes He's given you. I had a day like that yesterday- and I wish for everyone I know to have one of those days. 

Today, though, I really should stay put. I don't know if I will but I'm content right now not knowing what today holds and just being me.

Happy Labor Day, y'all!

Lots of Love,

Tiffany 💋